although i will never be the only one in your heart..or the one in your heart..you will remain in mine..nomatter what happens..i will love you..now and always..i love you..from the day we met until the day i die..i will love you..the times i spent with you..felt like an eternity to me..i love you more than life itself..even if i cant be the one..i will still love you..

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its me again..and ..i cant break the habit..i cant stop crying..i guess i got used to it after crying everynight..kays is my very bestest friend ever..i have never had a best friend like her before..her stories..that is and are true..is so sad and touching..every single line she says..is so sad that..i can feel how she felt..it is so sad ..that i cried ..everytime..about her and stacey (((F.Y.I..i love her as a best friend not more than that..lol..))her stories about her and stacey..is sweet..touching..sad..funny..everything combined in 1..i can just imagine if my life is like hers..wonder how she feels like..
i guess it is hard having to live life that way..she loves a girl and cant be with her..no matter how long she waits..she knows that she will never be hers..
living life like that..is just sad..and i cant believe i understands and feels what she feels..ugh..crying again..
im going to singapore..im leaving on saturday to K.L..then to johor and will be in singapore on monday..will be there until friday or saturday only..thats about 1week only..but it will be the best week of my life..=)..hope i get to meet every1..my baby..kays..huahua..and EVERY1 of my singapore friends that has been the best ever..that i met through maple story..maple story might have ruined my life sometimes..but -it brought us together- =)..i love you guys..with all my heart..
-red tears-

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everything has gone well lately..i dont feel..the same anymore..
woohoo!! im going to singapore soon..i think..lol..my mum is making the plans..but i REALLY REALLY hope i get to go..i havent been there in YEARS..the last time i was at singapore..was my trip to australia,melbourne.all i saw was the INSIDE of the sinagpore airlines..haha..i was only there for an hour..and i never went out the airport..lol..i was 7 to 9 years old that time i think..although i didn't get to go OUT side into singapore..i had fun..kinda..lol..i dont really remember my time there ^.^""..but i hope this time i get to REALLY see singapore..hehe..i really want to go cause there is some1 im dying to meet..hehe..and all my friends like sihua(huahua),da jie(cindy),jiefu(melvin/da jie bf),kays(MY B.F.F!![not boyfren har!!]) and Lots Lots more..but the first will be him =X..hehe ^^"..hmm..this week is my trial exam..super..hard yet some are easy..lol..im pretty sure i Aced my English =X..and im very sure i worked hard enough to pass everything..not to ace everything..hehe..i got 3 more days to go..haiz..i have..mathematics tommorow i think..haha..so Good Luck ME!xD..till next time *hugz and kisses yall* love ya~

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..alot have happened to me this year..
i started crying alot now..
and i don't even know why..
is it because i want to..or is it because it hurts so much..that i can't bear the pain in my heart knowing that your not there anymore..
my life ..started like this..
it was a raining night..i was home alone again..this was the night niisan left me..i cried all night waiting for him to come back..but he didnt..that was july 7th..until now i haven't seen him online..after a few weeks..i met a guy and totally forgottened about him..i tought that it would be nice to forget about him for once..and not cry at night just because of him,so i started to get closer to the guy i met..in 4days..he was my boyfriend..his name is john ong..i loved him dearly ..but now..there is another guy ..i met him a long time ago..but nvr felt anything for him until he told me he loves me..i started having feelings for him..slowly getting closer by the minute..until i found out..omg..im having an affair with him..i have john..and yet..i have another ..until now im still confused..everyone is expectin g me to choose someone ..or something..how can i possibly just choose one of them..it hurts me just as much as it hurts them ..whenever i want to try to break up with john..i keep thinking about..how much he loves me..and that i promised i'd never leave him..i end up crying every night..until today i'm still crying..and i don't even know why..is it because i love them too much? this is a desition i cant ever decide on..what am i suppose to do..my heart is breakin knowing that i love 2 people..why does this happen to me..why am i crying every night..why is it that its always my fault..this year..i have been a crying bitch..and i don't know how to stop it..whenever i get this feeling in my heart..like some dagger has just been stabbed in my heart ..and some1 is trying to pull it out..when its stuck tight..or is it cupids arrow ..telling me things..that im suppose to know..thats all i know for now..-red tears falling-

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ever since the day you went away and left me lonely and cold
my life just hasnt been the same ohh baby, nooo
when I looked into your eyes the moment that
I let you goI just broke down (down)
baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice
cuz the feeling that I feel within no other men could ever make me feel so right
its nice to smile when I get your phone call at night
but I’d rather have you here with me, right next to me
I miss the way you hold me tight(Bridge) I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touchI never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
for you I’d cross the world, for you I’d do anything

thats right baby I’m going crazy
I need to be your lady
I’ve been thinking lately
that you and me, yes we can make it
just ride with me, roll with me I’m in love with you baby

break it down now I’ll tell you what I feel
from the moment I met you its been so damn realmy heart seems to skip another beat
every time we speak can you believe I feel so weak
tell me that you really need me and you want me and you miss me
and you love me I’m your lady
I’ll be around waiting for you I’ll put it down be the one for you
I’m falling so deep for you crazy love for youI`m calling,
calling out to you what am I going to do?
Wish you would stop fronting
its so in the weather i can no longer go on without I just break down (down)
I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
for you I’d cross the world, for you I’d do anything

thats right baby I’m going crazy
I need to be your ladyI’ve been thinking lately
that you and me, yes we can make it
just ride with me, roll with me I’m in love with you baby

-natalie-goin' crazy-

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i swear by the the moon
and the stars in the sky
and i swear like the
shadow that's by your side
i see the questions in your eyes
i know what's waiting on your mind
you can be sure i know my part
'cause i stand beside you through the years
you'll only cry those happy tears
and though i make mistakes
i'll never break your heart
and i swear by the moon
and the stars in the sky i'll be there
i swear like the shadow that's by your side
i'll be there for better or worse
till death do us part
i'll love you with every beat of my heart
and i swear
i'll give you every thing i can
i'll build your dreams with these two hands
we'll hang some memories on the wall
and when (and when) just the two of us are there
you won't have to ask if i still care
'cause as the time changes the page
my love won't ever age at all
and i swear (i swear) by the moon
and the stars in the sky i'll be there (i'll be there)
i swear (and i swear) like the shadow that's by your side
i'll be there (i'll be there) for better or worse
till death do us part i'll love you
with every single beat of my heart and i swear
and i swear (i swear) by the moon
and the stars in the sky i'll be there (i'll be there)
i swear (and i swear) like the shadow that's by your side
i'll be there (i'll be there)
for better or worse (better or worse)
till death do us part i'll love you
with every single beat of my heart
i swear~ i swear~ i swear~

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Yours truly

:)

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