.Saturday, September 30, 2006 ' 2:48 PM Y
its been so long
its been so long since i wrote on my blog..kinda miss it..now i think im back..to writting all my feelings out..like a journal..test is coming soon and im kinda scared,but yet i cant find my self to pick up a book and study. I want to do well cause today is my mothers birthday.(30th september) i want to make her proud.but i feel like its too hard.
im having love problems again..seems like i always have love problems,cause i cant control myself.im like this robot that i dont have control over.i wish i knew what was wrong with me , i hurt so much people in my life .. and now ive been punished for hurting them.and i deserved it fully.
i wish .. i could go back to what i was 7months ago.. when it was just you and me .. when we enjoyed being together..now its like im pushing you away further and further each day..and i dont even know ..im sorry..i know ive been doing this for a very long time now..i want to stop..i want to ..i just dont know how.. i have to hurt 2 other people to make my life happy..i dont want to hurt people anymore..the one getting hurt..should be me..i deserve to get hit by a car..or letting some1 kill me and leaving me there to bleed .. i just dont know what to do anymore..
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